Friday, July 21, 2006

What it Means to be Held

HELD
Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us wed be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, its unfair

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

There are so many things that are breaking my heart as I listen to this song by Natalie Grant. I had the pleasure of seeing her in concert a couple of months ago (Thanks Jamie!). She sang this song and shared the stories that birthed it. But, I think that it speaks to all that is broken within each of us. I think it speaks to anyone who is in a moment where they are watching dreams change or be taken away...in whatever form...and must rely on the promise that God is holding us in the palm of His hand.

It makes me think of the question "Where was God when...?". I've thought it myself so many times. Where was He when a precious one was being abused and no one would listen when she cried out for help? He was holding her. Where is He when dreams shatter and we are only left with broken pieces? He's there...holding us.

It's so hard to believe sometimes. God's asking me to believe it now. That I am safe and secure in the palm of His hand, no matter what's going on around me. I won't know the completenss of His dreams for me this side of Heaven, but I can trust in His promise. He has gone to build a house for me. I have a home that awaits me where my tears will be wiped away and I will be whole and complete in the One who made me.

This last weekend, I have had some intense discussions with some friends. In one discussion, we were talking about what it really means to worship. And Michayla said something that was so beautiful to me...she said worship is a chance for us to practice Heaven. I loved that! It's a time for us to come together...set aside time to worship the One who created us and knows us better than any other. It's a time to connect with our brothers and sisters in Christ and fall down at the feet of our Savior. That connection is something I've needed desperately lately. To know that God's taking care of me, no matter the situations that are breaking my heart. What a blessed feeling.

Which actually leads me to another song that's been on my heart for a few weeks now. I believe it was written by Matt Redman, although several artists have renditions of it.

Blessed Be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow Blessed be Your Name
Blessed be Your name when I'm found int he desert place
When I walk in the wilderness Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be Your name

In the good and the bad, I am learning to say Blessed Be Your Name. It's not easy. The bridge is my favorite part. You give and take a way. My heart will CHOOSE to say, Lord, Blessed be Your name. I am choosing to praise the Lord. I am choosing to honor Him even though I don't feel like it. That's what we are to do. No matter how we feel, He is worthy of our praise. He is working everything together for His glory. I can't wait to see the completeness of His work. In the meantime, I will continue to choose to believe that I am held.