Random Musings

I'm currently reading the book "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge. It's a book that talks specifically about how men were created to reflect the glory of God and teach us about His character. It's been an interesting journey into the wild heart of man. Eldredge states that there are three deep seated desires in the heart of a man. He must have a battle to fight, and adventure to live and a beauty to rescue. It's been interesting to dig into those three things and see what God has called man to be. I am also reading this book's counterpart for women, called "Captivating", by John and his wife Stasi Eldredge. In "Captivating" the couple states that the deep seated desires of a woman's heart are to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to have a beauty to unveil. Reading these books together has been a beautiful journey into how we are created in unique, yet complimentary ways, to display the face of...

Do you ever have one of those days, one of those moments, that you'd just like to take back? How many times have you wanted to return to the moment just before you made that choice, spread that gossip, ended that relationship, or crossed that line? I've read a couple of books this week that have started my thoughts in that direction. I've started to think about and visualize that moment just before our lives change; that moment we completely take for granted. When we look back, we see it as the place we'd return to if there were any way possible. That fork in the road where things somehow got off track. As I was logging into my computer this morning, I reached my maximum level of frustration with its performance and decided today is the day I spend time working to make it work properly. As I started the process of clean up and recovery, I came across the option to set a system restore point. Wouldn't that be nice? What would it be like if we could stop, in a ...

This week I had someone who wanted to "mend a fence" with me over a situation. However, the way they chose to go about it was to just ignore that there was a problem and pretend like everything was fine. In small offenses, sometimes, I am willing to overlook things and just move on without sifting through the past. But, when it's something big, it's a different story. I've had this picture in my mind regarding certain situations where the floorboards of a house have been broken, attacked by termites, or have become rotten and unstable. In those situations, the home owner would be foolish to merely try to fix what was left. It's important to remove the broken and decayed pieces before rebuilding the foundation. The same is true in a relationship when things happen that shake or damage the foundation. It's important to address the problem, remove the decay, and begin afresh. In some cases, it may be as simple as saying "I'm sorry", or m...

I have several friends who are going through tough times right now. I feel so inadequate to speak into their pain. When someone is grieving or in pain, words seem to fall flat and offer no real comfort. In times like these, for me, I turn to music and look for hope and healing. It seems the combination of lyrics, rhythm, instruments and voices speak into the darkest parts of my heart. So, for all of my friends who are down, grieving, or in pain at the moment, I'd like to share some music that captures the spirit of "The Words I Would Say". If the video above doesn't load, you may access it at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thLdWPr32yY

I just had an amazing conversation with a friend I have known for more than 17 years. We know each other well and have prayed one another through many things in life. She is a blessing to me, a true gift from God. We just spent time sharing our burdens and carrying them before the Father together. What a joy to walk this road with others who are on the same journey. It makes it so much more fun! I've been digging into wisdom literature lately and my conversation with my friend reminded me of this passage from Ecclesiastes 4:7-12: 7-8 I turned my head and saw yet another wisp of smoke on its way to nothingness: a solitary person, completely alone—no children, no family, no friends—yet working obsessively late into the night, compulsively greedy for more and more, never bothering to ask, "Why am I working like a dog, never having any fun? And who cares?" More smoke. A bad business. 9-10 It's better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the w...

I've been thinking alot about the people who have made an impact on me, in some way or another, throughout the course of my life. A conversation that prompted by last blog post , also prompted this line of thinking. There are people who seem to own pieces of me, pieces I've given away, or that have been taken from me over the years. I had a very visual picture of it in my mind this afternoon as I started to think about the pieces of me that have someone else's name tatooed across them. There's a piece of me that will always belong to my first love; a corner of my heart that seems to store the momentos of that time in my life. There's the smile that belongs to the friend who always knows how to evoke it; the only one who knows. There are pieces that are ugly and scarred by people who have wounded me with words and actions; their names scratched into the jagged tissue. There's the side of me that is reserved for the one who always seems to make me go a little cr...

I had a conversation this morning with a friend who knows me well. In fact, this friend is one of those precious few with whom I can immediately reconnect no matter the time or distance between us. And, sometimes he knows me better than I'd like. With friends like these, it's hard to hide. It's nearly impossible to pretend you're having a good day when you really aren't. This was the case for me today. I wasn't having the brightest of mornings and this friend could hear it in my voice. God was sending me a blessing, and I didn't even know it. I needed some great laughter today, and that's exactly what I got from my friend. He doesn't even have to try, he just lifts my spirits. There's something to shared experience, authenticity in relationship, and a sense of humor between two people that can just make all of the difference. So, in honor of my friend and his ability to brighten my day when I needed it most, I'd like to share some of t...

One of the greatest joys in my life right now is being Aunt Christy to some precious little ones. The song below was written for my dear friend Holly's son, Luke. I love getting to sing him to sleep. It's such a precious time for me. Last week, Luke's dad, Michael, and I took to the studio to record this song. I hope you enjoy it! If the video doesn't load below, you can view it on YouTube by clicking: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_BfInd4BwY

I have amazing friends. That's pretty much the story of my life. Over the years, I've been humbled and awed by the calibre of people I've been honored to call friend. They have been such blessings in my life and I'm sure I don't tell them so often enough. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" - Proverbs 27:17 I've been blessed to always have those kinds of friends in my life; the kinds of friends who sharpen, challenge, and encourage me. I spent some time catching up with one of those friends this week. True to form, she began asking me questions meant to stir up my spirit and get me thinking. As we talked, as so often happens, I began to process things out loud for the first time. I realized that I feel stuck right now. Stuck. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever looked around and wondered why you're not miles farther down the road? Or, have you felt like you just keep spinning your wheels but not making any progress?...

Those of you who know me well know that my life has been filled with turmoil this year. There has been significant strife in several of my personal relationships and in relationships that are interconnected with mine. And, again, if you know me well, you know that this is the thing I hate most: Broken Relationships. I'm exhausted. I'm confused. I'm hurt. I barely feel like this is real life. And, sometimes I'm really angry. In the last 2 months, I've become increasingly frustrated with the number of people who presume to tell me what I think. Yes, you read that right. I have had a number of people decide what it is I think and have taken action based on that assumption. It's maddening. I've had someone latch onto the last half of something I said, completely disregard the qualifier in the sentence, and decide I have a particular view that I can do nothing to change in his mind. I've had someone view my facebook posts and decide that I was being dis...

I received an email from a friend today and he was sharing some things going on in his life. Right after I read his email, I opened to the passage for Chad's upcoming message on November 14th. I don't believe it was a coincidence or random happenstance. Here's what I wrote to my friend (and needed to hear myself). Ephesians 6:10-20 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet f...

I've been a big sister since just before I turned 4. When my parents brought Daniel home from the hospital, I was a little disappointed that his blanket was blue - not pink. But, that disappointment was short lived and I stepped into my role as big sister. It's a fun job. I had the opportunity to witness a milestone in the life of my brother last weekend - a milestone that highlighted the role of siblings in each other's lives. On Sunday, we had a baby dedication for Ansley Katherine in which we had the opportunity to commit to help them raise her in the ways of the Lord. It was a precious, precious time. As I stood and watched my brother sit there with his wife and little girl, I couldn't help but think of the other milestones I've witnessed in his life. I remembered when he really came to understand the power of God in his life. I was in awe of a middle school boy who boldly presented the Gospel to his friends. I remember being challenged by the way he hel...

Last night, I was thinking about relationships and how they sometimes fall apart before you even realize there is a problem. Have you ever had a friend suddenly get angry with you and then you realize it's been building for a long time and you didn't see it coming? Or, have you ever said something that you didn't know was received in the wrong way until months or years later? I've been thinking alot about that lately and last night, a passage of scripture came to mind that I had never before thought about in this context. When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. - James 1:13-15 Here's where I think this applies in our relationships. I think, sometimes, we get an idea planted in our head ab...

As I was growing up, my mom’s favorite verse was Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” I can remember growing to cringe everytime she responded to our questions with that verse. “Mom, can we go see this movie?” “Is it pure and lovely?” “Well, it’s PG-13, so probably not” “Then, no”. AUGH! How frustrating for a teenager! Nothing in the world is pure and lovely! Wait. Maybe that was her point. As I’ve grown up and had the opportunity to look back at my upbringing some, I realize that my mom was teaching us to be discerning about what we let into our minds and hearts. If we couldn’t apply that litmus test to the upcoming activity and come away clean, then it’s something we probably didn’t need to do. Today, as I was thinking about conflict in relationships and how sometimes we get so far down a ro...

Here are some words that stirred and broke my heart today. From "IF" by Amy Carmichael. There are a number of areas in my heart and various situations where these apply...ouch. If I do not feel far more for the grieved Saviour than for my worried self when troublesome things occur, then I know nothing of Calvary love. If in dealing with one who does not respond, I weary of the strain, and slip from under the burden, then I know nothing of Calvary love. If I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I lose affection, or lest the one concerned should say, "You do not understand," or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the other's highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary love. If I am content to heal a hurt slightly, saying "Peace, peace," where is no peace; if I forget the poignant word, "Let love be without dissimulation" and blunt the edge of truth, speaking not right things but smooth things, th...

In the past couple of weeks I have really been challenged by watching the life of a friend of mine. I've watched him take on a couple of projects and go hard at them without complaining. As I've watched him and seen the results of his hard work, I have been awed by what a difference it makes to do something with excellence. Many, if not most, of us are usually satisfied with "good enough". We don't give our best effort at everything and simply settle for whatever we accomplish. I am guilty of that often. I usually get a "good enough" result with a minimal or average effort, and I've been content with that. No more. As I've thought about this during the week, the Holy Spirit has really convicted me. There are areas of my life that really need attention in the excellence department. I've been reading the Scriptures (Colossians 3, II Peter 1, Philipians 4, etc) and it only reaffirms what I am feeling in my spirit. Everything I do, wheth...

Thursday night I returned from an 11 day mission trip to Honduras. It was a WONDERFUL trip and very intense for me. I am still working on gathering all of the miracles we saw in order to have them in one place, but it was beyond anything I could imagine. At the last service alone, 13 people had their sight restored! It was incredible to have the opportunity to minister with the PCF (Peachtree Christian Fellowship) team and pour God's love and power on the people of Honduras. There will be more to come, but I wanted to write about how the trip most affected me personally while it's all still fresh. God definitely worked on my heart while I was there and I'm pretty sure He broke down anything left of myself that was getting in His way! For those of you who don't know, here's a quick recap of what God has been working in my life in the last 12 years. When I was 18, I first noticed that something was wrong with my body and since then, I've been seeing Doctor a...

When is enough really enough? At what point should you draw a line in the sand in a relationship and say "I'm done"? I don't have a good answer to that question and it's really starting to bug me. I'm writing today in hopes of stirring some conversation and gaining some insight, or at least some new perspectives. I don't think the root of my confusion can be found in human logic. From a logical and human perspective, I think those lines can sometimes be clear. If someone hurts you continually or is more selfish than not, maybe it's time to walk away. In my humanness, there have been times when I have felt like a relationship wasn't worth the work it required and I've wanted to walk away. I think that's normal and happens quite often in relationships. There seems to be a natural ebb and flow to life and people come and go from our lives and our relationships change. But, what is the right thing to do? What is the godly thing to do? ...

It's not often in life that we get to experience unconditional love. I think that's what leads to a special bond between a dog and her owner. And, when you find a dog who really knows what it is to love and be a loyal companion, you are doubly blessed. So has been the last 10 years of my life. When I was in college, on a night that was no different from any other, I went to a friend's house and came home with someone new to love. I didn't go there with the intention of bringing Gracie home, but when I saw her, I fell in love with her. She chose me that night. I knew it was irresponsible to bring her home when I lived in an apartment, but she just sat right in front of me and looked up at me with this face that just said, "Take me home and love me...I think you're my mom". And, so I did. I took her home and, as much as I loved her, I think I was more the blessed for having done it. For 10 years, she brought me joy, companionship, comfort and loyalt...

I just found out today, in the Sunday service, that our youth pastor has taken a job at another church. He and his family will be leaving us August 1st. I feel like my heart is breaking in my chest. Since coming to us last year, Tom and Jen have planted themselves in our hearts and it is sad to let them go. In some ways, it’s truly a blessing that the Lord has called them to another church. Tom and Jen came here a year ago with a strong conviction that the Lord was calling them to FCC. However, we’ve struggled financially for some time now and can no longer support 2 pastors. I believe it is God’s blessing on the faithfulness of Tom and Jen that has opened another position for them nearby. I pray that it will be a good thing for them and their family. I am sad, for many reasons, at the loss of this family. Tom has done an amazing job with our youth. In the time that he’s been here, we seen a number of students come to know the Lord and be baptized. He’s taken the staff under ...