Random Musings

This week has been full of overwhelming comprehension of the goodness of God.  More than once this week, I've had to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming.  If I'm honest, I've been pinching myself for well over a year.  I am living out my heart's desire and it is so beautiful.  God's faithfulness is being proven to me over and over with each new day. I am a believer, a dreamer of dreams.  I know that the Lord has promised certain things to me and I've worked hard to be obedient to His calling.  It hasn't always made sense to me.  Sometimes I've had to leap into the darkness with no idea of what might break my fall.  It's been lonely and scary at times.  And, there have been moments when I wanted to give up hope and stop believing in dreams.  But, the Lord is faithful and He loves His children.  All good and perfect gifts come down from Heaven. In less than five weeks, I will join hands with the man of my dreams and become ...

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life." - Proverbs 13:12 For so many years, I held onto a hope that seemed impossible.  I knew that the Lord had something amazing waiting for me, but I just had to stand in obedience until He brought it to fruition.  It is true that "He [makes] all things beautiful in His time" (Ecclesiastes 3:11), but it is sometimes so difficult for us.  Our bodies long and yearn for the fulfillment of our hopes and dreams.  We become heart sick when it seems like we'll never receive the promise.  We ache for what we do not know. But, then something beautiful happens...God comes through for us.  The joy that is found on that morning is beyond compare.  This year has been a year of desires fulfilled.  I am reveling in the goodness of a Father who would see fit to give me all of these good things.  It's amazing.  It's humbling.  It's more than I dared to dream...

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights..." James 1:17 I've heard it said that, "Once in a while, in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairytale".  On December 31st, 2012, the Lord gave me a good and perfect gift.  Nick Giardino, the love of my life, planned a perfect day and the Lord surrounded and protected it with love and beauty. The entire day was a surprise adventure for me.  Nick planned everything with great love and attention to detail.  I met him at his house that morning and we set off for a day I'll never forget.  It was beautiful to be able to rest and trust in him to lead me through the day. The Lord gave us beautiful little moments and gifts throughout the day.  As we started on the journey, Nick said we needed to listen to some love songs.  He had a soundtrack for the day!  As he pulled it up on shuffle (it was in order for a different part of the journey), the ...

I'm currently reading the book "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge. It's a book that talks specifically about how men were created to reflect the glory of God and teach us about His character. It's been an interesting journey into the wild heart of man. Eldredge states that there are three deep seated desires in the heart of a man. He must have a battle to fight, and adventure to live and a beauty to rescue. It's been interesting to dig into those three things and see what God has called man to be. I am also reading this book's counterpart for women, called "Captivating", by John and his wife Stasi Eldredge. In "Captivating" the couple states that the deep seated desires of a woman's heart are to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to have a beauty to unveil. Reading these books together has been a beautiful journey into how we are created in unique, yet complimentary ways, to display the face of...

All too often, I don't take the time to stop and blog unless I've been processing some deep truth in my life. More often than not, blogging helps me finally distill my thoughts into truth and belief. I share here, quite frequently, the struggles of my journey. But, I've come to realize that I don't project a full and complete picture. When I only take the time to talk about when life is hard, I lead my readers to believe my life is always hard. That is simply not true and is, in fact, far from the reality of it. My life is full of joy, happiness and people who love me really well. The story that God is writing for me is nothing short of beautiful. I had a taste of that "something beautiful" this Christmas and New Year's. I had the opportunity to take time to travel to Illinois to be with Nick. And, while I missed my family and spent my first Christmas without them, it was filled with so much joy I could hardly take it in. Some of you know the details...

It's been a while since I've taken the time to blog. There's a great deal running through my mind, so I may have a few posts in the works. But, before too much more time passes, I think I should take a moment and reflect on all of things for which I am thankful this year. The last couple of years have been dotted with conflict and pain for me and my family. It's been a difficult process, but the Lord has been faithful to give us beauty amidst the storm. That's what I'm thankful for, most of all, this year. I'm thankful for relationships that are renewed and stronger through lessons learned. I'm thankful for a better understanding of what it means to "speak the truth in love" and why it is so important. I understand better why "beating around the bush" is not really loving or kind, even though we think we're trying to spare someone's feelings. I'm thankful for modern medicine and doctors who can replace my Mom's knees. ...

A dear friend's mother shared this short devotional with me the other day. She shared a lesson the Lord had taught her long ago in hopes that I would gain wisdom from it. It's been reverberating through my heart and mind ever since. I'd like to share it with you. This excerpt is from "My Utmost for His Highest (An updated edition in Today's Language)" by Oswald Chambers Suffering Afflictions and Going the Second Mile "I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also" (Matthew 5:39) This verse reveals the humiliation of being a Christian. In the natural realm, if a person does not hit back, it is because he is a coward. But in the spiritual realm, it is the very evidence of the Son of God in him if he does not hit back. When you are insulted, you must not only not resent it, but you must make it an opportunity to exhibit the Son of God in your life. And you cannot imitate the nature...

Do you ever have one of those days, one of those moments, that you'd just like to take back? How many times have you wanted to return to the moment just before you made that choice, spread that gossip, ended that relationship, or crossed that line? I've read a couple of books this week that have started my thoughts in that direction. I've started to think about and visualize that moment just before our lives change; that moment we completely take for granted. When we look back, we see it as the place we'd return to if there were any way possible. That fork in the road where things somehow got off track. As I was logging into my computer this morning, I reached my maximum level of frustration with its performance and decided today is the day I spend time working to make it work properly. As I started the process of clean up and recovery, I came across the option to set a system restore point. Wouldn't that be nice? What would it be like if we could stop, in a ...

For the last couple of days, I have had the priviledge of leading worship from the Woods stage at Atlanta Fest just before Chad Wallace took the stage to share a message from his heart. It's been a beautiful experience and I'm looking forward to doing it one more time tomorrow. I have a few stories I want to share about this experience and how God is working, but I think I still need some time to process them myself. But, I do want to share with you a song written by Matt Jackson who shared just after us the last two days. The chorus of this song is echoing in my heart and I hope will be resonating for the rest of my life: "I want the Healer, not just the Healing. I want the Giver, not just the gifts. I want the Real Thing, not just Something. I want You. I want You." Too often, we look for the healing and forget that the Healer is so much more than we could ever hope or imagine. I hope you'll let those words simmer in your heart, as they are in mine, and ...

If you know me, you know that I love a good story of redemption. Books or movies that fail to redeem something broken in the story line often leave me feeling flat and unsatisfied. I love grace and I'm so thankful for it (because Heaven knows I need it!). And also, if you know me, or have been around me recently, you also know that God is weaving a beautiful story of redemption in my life. It's more than I could have hoped for and better than I dared to dream. I'm so happy and completely overwhelmed that God has chosen to show His favor and grace in the way that He is right now for me. As a church, we've been reading through the Bible. Our plan is to read through it together in a year. We've just made it through Leviticus and I was struck by how many times the word "redeem" is used. From the beginning, God has been working for our redemption. He's been showing His grace and favor and giving us a way out. It's an amazing and overwhelming t...

This week I had someone who wanted to "mend a fence" with me over a situation. However, the way they chose to go about it was to just ignore that there was a problem and pretend like everything was fine. In small offenses, sometimes, I am willing to overlook things and just move on without sifting through the past. But, when it's something big, it's a different story. I've had this picture in my mind regarding certain situations where the floorboards of a house have been broken, attacked by termites, or have become rotten and unstable. In those situations, the home owner would be foolish to merely try to fix what was left. It's important to remove the broken and decayed pieces before rebuilding the foundation. The same is true in a relationship when things happen that shake or damage the foundation. It's important to address the problem, remove the decay, and begin afresh. In some cases, it may be as simple as saying "I'm sorry", or m...

Today is my Grandparents' 59th wedding anniversary. Can you imagine? Married to the same person for 59 years! I am in awe of such an accomplishment and so thankful I have a marriage like that to observe. It's always so interesting to me when I talk to my Grandparents about all of the things they have done and observed over the years. There is so much wisdom to be found at the feet of those who have already walked the road. My Grandpa has always been a hard worker and very good with his resources. He has always done what he needed to do to provide for his family and he is a skilled craftsmen at so many things. He's patient and kind and generous. He's a good, good man. My Grandma is a very creative person. I love seeing how she chooses to express herself through her artwork. And, she has a passion for passing that love of painting on to others. She loves to teach and watch her students grow. She has, along with my Grandfather, raised 5 children and watched as...

Below are the notes from my sermon this morning. Before I spoke, Mrs. Katie (as Corrie Ten Boom) read an excerpt from Tramp for the Lord . Closing the Circle The Power of Unconfessed Sin in the life of a Christian James 5:13-20 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander f...

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato That quote has been rattling around in my mind for several days. I think it is one of the wisest and gracious things I've ever heard. I've heard it from time to time over the years, but this week, it really has penetrated my heart. We don't know what goes on in the hearts, minds, and souls of the people around us. Sometimes, the ones who seem to have it the most together are the ones who are really grasping at a final thread. Sometimes, when someone snaps at us or is cross, it really has nothing to do with the person, moment, or situation at hand, but about the battle they may be fighting internally. In dealing with difficult people, I often step back and ask the Lord to allow me to see them as He sees them. This approach has radically changed the way I deal with conflict. If someone offends me, says something hurtful, or acts in a way that is unpleasant, I try to see the root of their pain....

I've had some thoughts stirring around in my head lately and have been struggling with how to express them. My first amendment right, as an American, tells me I have the freedom to speak my mind. And, this is my personal little corner of the blogosphere, so this is where I choose to do just that. No one is forced to read it. No one is under any obligation to agree with it. And, it is open for comments and rebuttals in the spirit of fairness and engaging conversation. But, just because I have the right to say something and I feel like I want to, does that mean that I should? I just finished a month of reading a chapter of Proverbs every day. Much of what I learned was about holding my tongue and not stirring up strife. So, as I thought about my blog post today, I thought it through to who might read it and how they might respond. This is usually my process in writing; it's always a good idea to consider your audience. I also consider the consequences. One of my biggest ...

As a vocalist, I've been involved in more than my fair share of weddings. I've also had the honor of attending a number of them as a guest. And, tomorrow, I will be helping photograph one for the first time. So, as wedding season approaches and I prepare by learning new music, practicing the piano, and brushing up on my photographic skills, I've had the opportunity to think a lot about brides. I love wedding ceremonies. I think they are beautiful. When I've had the honor of singing for a bride and groom whom I love deeply, I fight hard to remain professional and not burst into tears in the middle of a song. I love the beautiful dresses and the fragrant flowers. I love getting to be part of a day that means so much in the lives of two people. But, what I love most about weddings is that they represent the relationship between Christ and His Bride, the Church. It's an earthly picture of that moment that awaits us when we are finally face to face with our Belov...

It's recently been brought to my attention that I may have an inaccurate view of what "Spiritual Leadership" looks like in a relationship. In fact, I saw my own views reflected back to me and it was a bit unnerving. So, I did what I do whenever I have questions; I asked. First, I asked the Lord by reading about it in His Word. There are two main passages that talk about submission: Ephesians 5:21-33 and I Peter 3:1-7 And then, I asked several of my married friends how it works in practice. As a yet unmarried person, I have no personal experience with what spiritual leadership within a marriage actually looks like. I can only guess and relate to it in whatever ways I can. But, I believe the Lord calls us to help and depend on one another, especially to see the truth, so I polled my friends. The answer I found is that I indeed have a limited understanding of what the looks like based on Scripture and my wise friends. It seems that one verse that is often overl...

As I have journeyed through Proverbs this month, I have been giving a lot of thought to wisdom and the sayings of Solomon. Recently, I have been reminded of the story of Solomon's wisdom, as it was given from God, and how he used it to administer judgment over the people. The story can be found in I Kings 3 . The Lord gave Solomon wisdom in more abundance than anyone before or since (other than Jesus of course). For those of us seeking to be wise, there is no better teacher. The Lord Himself is the giver of wisdom, but Solomon was His vessel here on earth. Solomon was given wisdom so that he could rule the people wisely. As an example of that wisdom, I Kings 3 tells the story of how he judged between two women. These two women both had babies within a few days of one another. They also lived in the same house. During the night, one of the babies died and the mother of that child took the living baby as her own. In the light of day, when the other mother awoke, she realized tha...

I had a dream last night that is really bothering me. In this dream, several people were angry with me. There were varied reasons for their anger, but a couple of them made sure to say to me, "You're no better than me." I couldn't agree more. Dreams often speak truth to me. Sometimes they are just my brain processing and compiling events and are just a physiological response. But, sometimes they are more than that. Sometimes they are the Lord's way of whispering to our heart in movie format. So, I don't usually just dismiss my dreams. I'm sure I'll be chewing on this one for a day or two at least. There are things I already know have contributed to this dream. First of all, I have received some praise lately, and that always makes me nervous. It is very easy to allow those kind words to go to my head. In the past, I've been imprisoned by praise. When someone thought I was wonderful, I felt like I had to always be perfect and neve...