Random Musings

There's a chance this will be a relatively incoherent posting as I have had very little sleep. However, I need to purge these thoughts and emotions while they are fresh. Today I hit an emotional wall. It had been coming for a few weeks, but today...I could stem the tide no longer. When I finally allowed myself to feel the pain of it, or more correctly stated, when I could no longer stave off the pain with busyness and denial, I was tackled by it. The worst part about this emotional pain is that it makes no sense and was something I was unable to foresee, predict, or forestall. Yet, it washed over me in a flood of confusion and disparity between what my head knew to be right and my heart felt so deeply. And yet, I was reminded....God is good. He loves me. There is purpose in the pain. It is in moments like these that I realize and remember how very blessed I am. In the span of 2 hours, in a time when the walls of my heart were unexpectedly caving in, God sent me 2 angels. Not celest...

Last Monday, I received a call from a friend telling me that another of our friends was having a difficult time. And, even as I write that, I laugh at the understatement. A difficult time? His precious little girl had been rushed to the emergency room where they had to bring her back to life and place her on life support. Unfathomable. Even not being a parent, I understand that there are no words to describe what they must be feeling. I know my heart is breaking, and I am merely a distant observer. As I've watched this painful process unfold by reading their updates on Emily's situation, I've been struck by the depth of faith and surrender I've seen. The following post from Nathan on October 21st, struck me to the core and challenged my own faith. "SO -- It has been brought up, by someone that I love dearly, that these posts do not entirely capture what life is like, at least from my perspective. I have to agree. For two main reasons I have kept these posts ...

While I was away visiting Rae in Athens today, I received a phone call from my roommate, Cynthia. Through her hysterical sobs, I finally deciphered that she had lost someone dear to her today. One of her friends at work was killed in a car accident last night. I know no details, only that in an instant, lives where ended and others changed. That quickly...everything changed. It reminds me that life here is short. We are but grass that is here today and gone tomorrow. And that is exciting...because I know that Jesus has gone to prepare a place for me in Our Father's House! But, it also reminds me that my time here is short and I need to make the most of it. I need to seize each day and live each moment. Stop being afraid. Stop being passive. Love those I love with a fierceness that shows them the truth. Forgive those who've hurt me and move past it. Seek reconciliation in relationships that are broken. This life is short. But, eternity waits. It reminded me of a song by Carolyn ...

What Forgiveness Isn't 6 myths that may be keeping you from letting go. by Denise George I listened quietly as my friend Jamie told me the frank details of the sexual abuse she'd suffered as a child. "I hate my father!" she blurted out. "He abused me for more than a decade!" Jamie cried. "But my pastor said if I want to heal from my childhood pain, I have to forgive." "What did you tell your pastor?" I asked. "I told him I could never forgive my father, that I didn't want to forgive him, that no one—not even God—would expect me to forgive him!" Jamie told me all the reasons that kept her from forgiving her abusive father. I'd heard many of them before. In fact, I'd used some of them two years earlier, when a friend I'd trusted to keep a confidence told several women in my Sunday school class about a painful circumstance I was going through. I felt betrayed by my friend—as I should have. But forgive her? That was ...

About a month ago, I was teaching the Middle Schoolers at church how to have a quiet time. We were reading through the Proverb of the day and it contained so much that is pertinent to their lives. But, one part of the chapter struck me. Verses 17-28 New American Standard Version 17Like one who takes a dog by the ears Is he who passes by and meddles with strife not belonging to him. 18Like a madman who throws Firebrands, arrows and death, 19So is the man who deceives his neighbor, And says, "Was I not joking?" 20For lack of wood the fire goes out, And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down. 21Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife. 22The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts of the body. 23Like an earthen vessel overlaid with silver dross Are burning lips and a wicked heart. 24He who hates disguises it with his lips, But he lays up deceit in his heart. 25When he speak...

Forgiveness. I've been thinking alot about that word lately. We've been talking about it at church alot and I've batted it around with my friends some. I'm not sure how settled I am on what God expects from me in the arena of forgiveness. So, here are some of my random thoughts. Maybe writing them down and requesting feedback will help me find the answer. Below are some of the verses that I have been looking at and pondering in my quest. Nehemiah 9:17 "They refused to listen, and did not remember Your wondrous deeds which You had performed among them; So they became stubborn and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But You are a God of forgiveness, Gracious and Compassionate, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness; And you did not forsake them" Matthew 18:21-22 "Then Peter came and said to Him, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not...

I read this article today and it touched my heart. It's a long read, but definitely worth it. Oh, Lord...to be able to say Blessed Be Your Name...even when everything has been taken away! He Gives, and Takes Away by Mark Hall posted 08/14/06 You're probably familiar with the Casting Crowns hit single "Praise You in This Storm." In this excerpt from his new book Lifestories, frontman Mark Hall tells the story behind the song. Great songs don't just come out of nowhere, and there's quite a story behind the Casting Crowns hit, "Praise You in This Storm." In a new book called Lifestories (available August 29), Mark Hall, the band's frontman and chief songwriter, tells the stories behind the songs—including this one about a little girl dying of cancer who never gave up her trust in Jesus . . . and her mother who literally stood on the promises of God through the whole ordeal. The following story has been adapted and condensed from the book. Laurie E...

HELD Two months is too little They let him go They had no sudden healing To think that providence Would take a child from his mother While she prays, is appalling Who told us wed be rescued What has changed and Why should we be saved from nightmares We're asking why this happens to us Who have died to live, its unfair This is what it means to be held How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive This is what it is to be loved and to know That the promise was that when everything fell We'd be held This hand is bitterness We want to taste it and Let the hatred numb our sorrows The wise hand opens slowly To lilies of the valley and tomorrow This is what it means to be held How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive This is what it is to be loved and to know That the promise was that when everything fell We'd be held If hope is born of suffering If this is only the beginning Can we not wait, for one hour Watching for our savior T...